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squirreleater
The Web monkey
squirreleater

Posts : 653
Join date : 2007-08-16
Age : 48
Location : Cloud cuckoo land.

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PostSubject: Jokes   Jokes Icon_minitimeWed 8 Sep - 15:49

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, "Do you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." "Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked. "Nope, sure aint." said the man.

"Don't you realise I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan. "Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

"Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan. "Yep" was the calm reply. "And you are still not afraid?" asked Satan. "Nope," said the old man.



More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"


The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years..."


And....


A Beautiful Short Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?

I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married to each other.'

'Wow!....................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. .............

'Get your own f....g blanket.'

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End

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I'm on twitter- @StuartMc1 ( stuart mcgregor)

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